WAYFINDING

I am lost in a sea of doubt and confussion, despair and doubt. I know who I am, but who I am is not important any longer. I know I must transform, but change is not directly in my hands because of the daily rat race that leads nowhere and is a circle in itself. I need to find a way to get the teaching courses and the media specialist certification so I can try to move that way. I know that just working in a business wont make me happy. My calling is elsewhere. I felt at home with assistive technology, and love that area, but the journey to be taken seriously in that niche is way too long right now. Maybe the start of it all could be simply the media specialist... Maybe.

I need to keep focus and just settle in the rat race not quitting. We should get the opportunity to have studies paid... any studies. And I should take advantage of that. When the time comes, submit to get the teaching credentials and the media specialist credentials. This should be a 2 year journey if it happens... not bad thinking I've been just looking for answers for 5 years now.

So... Stay as you are. Get enrolled. Get financial help to complete courses I need. And then make it so. That is the plan. I just hope I can accomplish it. I just hope I can stand the pressure... I am so tired of being on the phones, and of getting sick all the time. I dont have any other options left... Ad I know this is the last call to get into the big boat of dreams...